read The Caffiene Blues and The Metabolic Plan by Stephen Cherniske. he explains why our bodies react and behave they way they do in certain situations.

What you’re describing sounds like some pretty tramatic experiences fairly recently in your life. To feel more irritable after those experiences is normal. However, it sounds like your emotional state is interferring with your every day life and you’re asking for help.

My best suggestion, if you really want to get to the bottom of the issue (and it sounds like it’s multi-faceted) is to schedule an appointment with a therapist/counselor. Talking out these issues/experiences with someone unbiased and who is trained to help you work through them would be the most beneficial in my opinion. Also, a trained professional (depending on what type you choose) may be able to prescribe something if you need it, if not they can certainly make a recommendation to your physican.

You may also want to try things such as meditation, yoga, etc. that can all help with reducing stress.

If you able to locate someone in your area trained in craniosachral therapy (an extremely light touch massage/manipulation) you might want to try it. This technique is wonderful for stress relief and allowing your body to "destress" and relax.
You can try to locate a provider by going to http://www.upledger.com and using the "locate a provider" link.

Without labwork, there would be no way to know what to say, and that is the bottom line.

It is scary and frustrating and annoying(the last thing you need, I realize) but there are several blood panels that look at hormone levels among many other things, not to mention possible additional issues of deppression(Which can have the symptoms you describe; it isn’t always just "sadness").

A run to an endocrinologist (studies hormones) and the family doc with a list of everything that you notice about yourself (and if you are open to it, things loved ones have noticed about you***that can be tough to hear at times***) be it medical like weight gain, or mood swings or whatever the case may be.

Make the list as long as you can; really give it a lot of thought because it is often the little things that can make the difference between a diagnosis between (in example) early onset menopause and bipolar 2 disorder. Both can be dealt with easily, but not the same way.

The big time docs need to step in on this kind of thing, not just folks that have a little experience here or there. But I will tell you that it can get better if you work at it.

Feel better.

Are your periods still regular? Are you under unusual stress or have you been under stress for a long period of time? The first can be perimenopause, and the second can be another cause of your symptoms.

See your gynecologist. There is a low-dose estrogen that can be given to even out the hormones–it’s better than having wildly fluctuating hormones that are obviously making you uncomfortable. The pill suppresses the surges and gives an even amount of estrogen. Your problems could literally clear up in a week.

Give it a try unless you have conditions that preclude the use of this hormone.